#9 Bila waktu berlari

I had been slacking off lately. This is something not good and I need to keep up with the pace. 

Tomorrow is another day and I had not prepared much for my next exam. Maybe a reality slap helps at times like this. 

I wanted to tell about something changing in myself. 

Music. 

I just become less interested and less prominent in listening to them. 

Chills. 

Even so, I had listened to slow and deep songs that did not required fast beats. And I often forgetting lyrics that I had always sang. Not sure if it was considered normal at this age. 

My body too seemed to aching since I started my regular workout activity this week. I felt like vomiting but I knew I had to keep on going. It had been awhile I left my last regular training , 6 months, 1 year I guess? 

At least, for the sake of myself.  

On a serious note, Manchester city lost their game today. I haz sadding.

Oh ya, happy diwali to those celebrating. Have a great time. Hehe

“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” - Joshua J. Marine

#8 Budak Hingusan

I was in doubt. To be frank, I was hoping these were all some kind of dream. A deep dream that I had slumbered for a very long period of time. 

It was scary outside, and it was not even a joke. 

I knew I have to be strong, even without the person I'd loved most. 

I hope I had make the right decision this time. Any more mistake after this is simply cost my life on the line. My past had really make a deep impact and I would not make another grave mistake. Not even a single fuck or chance given. 

To me now, I had to do what matters the most and my feelings will come after. 

Most of my friends have already make their next step of their lives. And I was happy and glad that they are living safe and sound. 

Let's strategies ours. Lillahi taala. 

Start where you are. Use what you have.  Do what you can. –Arthur Ashe

#7 Tak mengapa

Sorry that I had to intrude your privacy. It has been few years I haven't heard your news although you seemed to be pretty fine. 

Seven years have passed. 

I have met many people. But they ain't compared to you. This is something I can't just comprehend myself. Thank you for the memories. 

This is an appreciation post for someone for my seventh post. Good luck. 

#6 Rintik hujan

"Raindrops keep falling on my head, and just like the guy whose feet too big for his bed nothing seems to fit. Those raindrops keep falling on my head they keep falling."  

It seems that the mood seems fitting at this time of moment.  Cold, adrenaline rush,  numb,  grey, shivers. 

Anyways, things seem to be in place so far.  Mara application for me and my siblings. Having to know my application for a ACCA been set,  I feel ease.  Now I just have to study.  All out. Alhamdulillah. 

5 papers left.  Just another five freaking papers left. 

Actually there was an event,  named foodgasm 2.0 and I didn't make it to come. It was all raining in the evening and I wanted to go there to meet my friends.  Sorry for the people who invited me. 

OK I lied.

I went for a jog. And I was hoping to achieve 10 kilometre of pace within 1 hour. (since our youth minister yb had managed to run within 59 minutes.)   My luck was wrong. And the second kilometre of jog,  storm trooped and roared the loudest cry. Rain dropped like nobody business and I was soaking wet and the moment the cloud turned grey.

My record at that time the were 3 kilometres with an average of 6 minutes and 30 minutes per kilometre.  

But at the bright side, I did neither feel tired nor exhausted. It was refreshing. 

I hope to run again and again.  It is my kind of way of relieving what inside besides having to know that it temporarily vanishes my worries and sorrows. 

“Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” 
― Deborah Reber, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul

#5 Mungkin memori

Mungkin salah satu sebab aku teruskan hidup sebab.

1) I have trust in Allah. And for that, I am yet giving up in seeking His answers and His mercy.

2) If there is someone that can go through hardship and pain, it would be me.

3) I am responsible for my brothers, my family.

4) I have purpose in my life that I, myself want to fulfil.


Life is an amazing adventure. I like to see people in many perspective. That we are all, similar regardless of background and personality.

Big, tall, white, black, old, young, female, male, transgender...

Why label?

God makes us differently so that we study. Study the existence of Him, the greatness of Him, the One.

Love.

It is not only defined as one man and woman who love each other. Just in case you are failing in it, makes you wonder. What is important, after it left missing.

It is more than that.

That is why I choose to move forward.