#19 Keraguan Hati

Salam and hey.

It was just depressing that past few days hit me pretty hard. I wish to escape from the reality that make me scared, the future seemed uncertain with the current me being foolishly confused and blank. 

Life is tough, but I can change that depending on how I handle those problems. Problems will never get abated. Strong will and heart will get through in no time.

I never plan to walk at the life I am having through right now, I know I am not at my lowest, but to be frank, I am not in a good position neither. Maybe I need a partner to share all the joy and sorrow together to make life such more meaningful. I hope so.

The thing is that. life kept pushing me away and I really bad at handling such thing. I tend to make more mistakes, ignore it and make it worst. Sometimes, I just need a little break to focus my core. After all, Rome is not build in a day, isn't it?

One way is escaping life; Dota. This isn't good, I admit that it is addictive and suffocating. And it is just get worst if you handling it wrong. I must get out of this cycle as soon as possible.

Fuck it. Today I am so moody that I just play to want play Dota the whole day. Pray for me that I get recovered soon. :(

Signing off,

Knowledge is love and light and vision.

-Helen Keller

#18 Keberangkatan Hati Nun Jauh Sana

Salam and Hey,

I just feel lonely. And I just want to share it here.

Sometimes, I feel I am treated differently. I just want to be normal. Like everybody does. 

I watched a drama recently, and look upon the life of a person inside the drama resembles me, I wished someone knew what am I having through.

It is okay to be sad, but I need to be stronger than ever. Pray for me.

#17 Tethering Love

Salam and hey.

Today marks the 21st of August. Time surely flies with memories flooding all over the place.

My write up is not as usual where I always delaying and end up leaving it behind. I have this identity crisis where I am standing without a feet, or hanging without a rope. Do you get what I am trying to say? Nevertheless, I somehow able to keep going and survive the day.

I am already at quarter century of age, and surprisingly I am not expecting things that have happened right now. It still feels like a dream, really.

 I have to be strong, not just for myself, but for everyone around me, so that I could believe miracle and faith are actually real. Same goes to them. I will just need to keep spreading positive vibes and enjoy every little things that made my day.

This includes giving smiles to people, friends and strangers. Help the needy. Create positive vibes around people. Cheer them up. Try to be as positive as you can be. And the list goes on.

I can say that I am quite grateful, because I know Allah is always with me. Even though there are times I always forgetting, He is always giving me chances to change the way I should be. Alhamdulillah, I am trying to be a better person.

I just need to do an extra hard-work in my studies so that I will not get left behind. This is how I should be. Amin.

To the person that I have always cared, I do still care about you. I know I hardly be on your mind, but let's just say that I always pray for the best for you, like I always do. Just take care of yourself. I hope you are able to chase the stairs of success, so that I could happily see you from far away. 

Signing off,

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.Francis of Assisi